I often feel like anything coming out of my mouth will sound crazy. There are so many thoughts going around in my head, so any big, HUGE thoughts that I’m at a loss to how to express them, or they feel overwhelming. Not just thoughts but feelings, sensations, intuitions, stories, longings, questions…. Sometimes I feel I don’t belong in this world; sometimes it’s hard to find people to talk to who “get where I’m at.” I have felt this way for most of my LIFE.
Still, I know I’m not crazy, I know I’m not alone, and I know I very much belong – in this body, on this planet, in this cosmos.
“In this world” gets a little trickier.
By “this world” I mean the world the Great Turning is leaving behind, the world from which it is moving on. And it IS moving on, no matter how hard one tries to hold on. I don’t want to hold on. I’m ready. Could I have sensed this even from a very early age? Could I have, perhaps, been born for this?
Sometimes the only way I can get at any of this is through poetry or other artistic endeavor. Something that taps into the heart and spirit of the matter. This is, I believe, another essential piece of navigating through the Great Turning: delving into the images, the myths, the archetypes of what is emerging. They hold great clues and possibilities I may never have envisioned through my rational, thinking mind.
Sometimes my poems are mystical, sometimes fanciful, sometimes fierce. This one is saying: Yes, I often feel like a misfit from another planet but I’m ON to something. I WILL listen, I will follow. Even against great tides. Dare I suggest that this is one of the things the Great Turning needs most from us?
The Sacred Mucky-Muck
Yes
Call it sacred –
your confused and anguished
venturing beyond the known,
the safe, the fuzzy
bliss of small, small
worlds.
Frame it as sacred –
your out-there insane,
gut-wrenching inclination to
renounce, empty, allow,
enter and
emerge.
Frame it as sacred –
your truly bizarre
desire for sweet silence and
deep contemplation, for
dancing with death and for dreaming
worlds into
being.
Please
Call it sacred –
your shockingly Self centered
attempts to heal, to
transform, to deign
to feel worthy of
co-Creation.
Frame it as sacred –
your irritatingly troublesome
rock the boat
realness.
Please, know it is sacred.
Wow, totally love your poem! Thanks for sharing the thoughts in this post, I think the "being born for this" part rings true. It is a challenging time to be alive!
;^)
Eric
Thanks, Eric. The "being born for this" then begs the question of how, then, do we feel called to be present. What could be our greatest contribution? What is uniquely ours to give? I believe there is no one answer, but a path.